A House Divided: Politics and Marriage

With each election cycle, Americans become more polarized. The vitriol that many red and blue supporters feel toward one another drives a wedge in American society, tears apart friendships, and tests relationships. Many couples may find themselves on opposite ends of the political spectrum, straining their relationship. In some cases, the couples started out with similar political views or with one partner slightly left of center and one slightly right of center. Over time, as America has become more polarized, one or both partners may have hardened their stance on political issues. Can this relationship hurdle be overcome? Yes – James Carville, a prominent Democratic political consultant, and Mary Matlin, a leading Republican political consultant are proof that couples can have divergent political views and still maintain a happy marriage.

If the 2022 election has stressed your relationship, following are some tips to consider:

• If your side won the election, don’t gloat and don’t keep bringing it up, no matter how excited you are. This will deepen your spouse’s feelings of anger and disappointment, which are never helpful emotions in a relationship.

• Instead of discussing hot-button issues that you each have strong opposing opinions on, find common ground. Maybe you have divergent views on climate change, but can agree on issues related to schools or homelessness.

• In some cases, it may be beneficial to halt all political conversations. Focus on nonpolitical topics to keep the peace.

• If you feel like your spouse’s political views are a deal-breaker for you, consider the other aspects of your marriage. Are there other issues that are making you unhappy? Are you overall satisfied with the relationship or not? If politics is one of many issues causing difficulties in your marriage, or if you are dissatisfied overall with the state of your relationship, it may be time to contact a couple’s therapist and/or family law attorney to explore your options.

• When you argue with your spouse about politics, if they call you names, criticize you, or threaten you, this is verbal abuse and signals a deeper issue in your relationship. If this happens to you, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE to learn about developing a plan for safety and potentially an exit plan.

While the 2022 election cycle has ended, the battle for the White House in 2024 has just begun. By developing strategies to deal with your political differences, you can maintain a harmonious married relationship that outlasts any political administration.

Troy Legal, P.A. was founded in 2009 and serves clients throughout South Florida. Troy Legal, P.A., specializes in Marital and Family Law, providing reputable legal services for prenuptial and co-habitation agreements, paternity cases, adoption matters, alimony and child support, time sharing and parenting plans, drafting of qualified domestic relations orders (qdros), mediation services, equitable distributions, collaborative law, post-judgement modification and enforcement, domestic violence cases, and dissolution of marriage or divorce.  Troy Legal, P.A. is dedicated to serving clients through compassionate and aggressive representation, while upholding the highest degree of ethical standards.